What Makes Them Change?

Yesterday a woman was telling me how her husband used to make her breakfast when they were still dating. After they were married, he would clean the floors, wash the dishes and help keep things clean. Now he doesn't even close his own chip bag. He throws his things on the floor or jams his ironed shirts in closets undoing all her careful ironing. And in the past he was even blatantly unfaithful to her.

How did that happen? How can a person go from being sweetly in love to cheating on the person he loves--or loved?

This question haunts me. It makes me feel insecure, like the best of men can turn into monsters. But what triggers their actions? Or were they always that way and the truth is finally coming out?

I don't know what causes such a change of heart. I imagine it's different for every relationship and is never wholly due to one party. But there is no need for blame, just analyzing to get to the root of the problems that cause such disarray in the family unit. Perhaps the couple will seek a deeper relationship again one day. Or if they move on to other partners, at least they can have a successful relationship the next time.

I do know that every day we must work on our relationships to keep them special and sweet, respectful and loving, and truly passionate. Nothing must stay in between us and the ones we love for long, or years later in a psychiatrist's office we may find it is that very thing that is the root of our crumbled relationship.

Be on your guard. Welcome God's arms around your relationship. The curse of sin makes misunderstanding so easy. You are opening your heart in the most vulnerable of ways with your partner. Anything can be taken as an intentional hurt. God's love is the only protection. And it is the only way to keep the monster in either of you from being born.

It's Ok

Have you ever seen the sun reflected off the underside of pine needles? Such small things. Small things that remind you God is here.  

I used to struggle With the thought that God loves me. Having learned that I must work for God's approval, I tried until I realized that I would never reach the standard that was required of me.  It took me the better part of my life to learn that God holds no rules over me.  I am free to choose as I will.  I have learned some of my choices have dire consequences and that most decisions are not a matter of right and wrong but rather an opportunity to learn what I prefer.  

If you are one who is trying to decide what is best for you and have been begging God to show you but there is no answer, perhaps he is trying to tell you that it's ok to choose as you will, to choose what you would prefer. If your decision does not work out, then you have learned something about yourself. You have learned one thing you don't like and are more knowledgeable about making a better choice next time. Perhaps you don't know the choices to make because you don't know yourself.  And if you don't know yourself,  how could you know which choice is best for you?  Therefore, I encourage you to quit praying and start deciding. You'll figure things out in no time. 

With One Deep Sigh

One deep sigh...

God, you wrap me in your arms

Your love--like warm sunshine and melting chocolate--

Floods my soul with your warmth

I feel protected

I feel loved

I feel sheltered

And always taken care of

With one deep sigh I rest myself against you